The Voice of a Deaf Man

(A true story from 2000)

I had just left Wal-Mart and was going over my to-do list in my mind as I got into my car. Suddenly there was a knock on my window and I looked up to see a very scraggly looking man with his face pressed to my window. I was not sure whether to start the car and get out of there as soon as possible, since I was alone, or to roll down the window and see what he wanted.

In the split second I was debating what to do he held up a card and pointed to it. On the one side it said, “Pardon Me, I am deaf. Selling these for my living. Pay any price you will. Thank you.”

I shook my head no and watched as he turned around to leave. He walked with a slight limp and went up to the next person he could find. At the time I worked in a program to end homelessness and knew that many people tried to collect money to buy alcohol and drugs. I did not want to contribute if this was his agenda.

Had he asked for a coat, socks, or something else material I gladly would have given it to him, but I was hesitant giving money. I started my car and proceeded to head out of the parking lot when I was suddenly struck with guilt. We are reminded over and over again in the Bible to help those less fortunate, to not turn away another in need. Even though I was unsure what he would do with the money, I was reminded that giving is not about what I want or expect the receiver to do with the gift.

I decided to turn the car around and try and catch this man in the parking lot. I got out some money, rolled down my window and started driving up and down the rows of parked cars. Sticking my head out the window I started yelling, “hey” as I drove around beeping my horn like a maniac. I did get me some questioning looks from others, but continued my quest. And as my frustration rose and I was about to give up, I had to remember he was deaf and perhaps really could not hear all my racket.

I laughed at myself and finally parked the car and decided to walk over to him. I finally caught up to him, handed him some money, and smiled. He smiled back in response and nodded as he handed me a card like the one he had shown me at first. He signed thank you as I walked back to my car.

I laughed on the way home replaying the event in my mind. I must have looked like a crazy woman trying to chase this man down in the parking lot, but the feeling of guilt had subsided. I am not sure what happened to that man or what my money was used for, but I do know that this experience has helped me to not be so quick to dismiss others in need, no matter what they are asking for. And to this day I carry my “I am deaf. Selling these for my living” card in my wallet as a reminder.

Trust and Obey

Recently I had the revelation that I am not really trusting God. There is a situation right now that has been draining me (emotionally and physically) for weeks and I thought I had given it to God...
Today though I realized that I am not trusting God. I cannot say I ever really heard the voice of God as one would hear someone speak, but I sensed today that I am not trusting Him. I felt God saying to me, "Just trust Me," and I responded,"But I am." And he impressed on me , "No, you are not." And then I could almost see him standing there in my kitchen, with his hands stretched out in front of him, palms up as if reaching to take my burden, tenderly looking at me with his eyes reflecting my sadness saying, "Trust me." And I knew that I had not trusted Him. I have not really sought his comfort, direction and love.
I need to trust Him.

"But we never can prove, The delights of His love, Until all on the altar we lay; For the favor He shows, and the joy He bestows, Are for them who will trust and obey.... Trust and obey for there's no other way, To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey."