I have spent much time "in processing." Our foster children moved to a new foster home at the end of September and I have spent the past few weeks trying to settle back into normal. Over the course of the last 3 years, we have had different people live in our house that being just the 5 of us has not happened for awhile.
The experience of foster parenting was wild! I think I need more time before I can fully reflect on everything. There are things that I may never be able to say and yet so much I will need to share. What a journey.
I say that I am in detox now (not that I have firsthand experience in that), but going from a whirlwind high, nonstop, constant loud, always on mindset and day to quiet and reflection, has caused an emotional and physical letdown.
No matter where I end up in my processing, my greatest wish is that I was able to give the kids hope: That they felt loved, that they saw a different way of life, and that they felt safety and peace.
October 16, 2009
July 15, 2009
Change of Events
So... a big change of events. Things were finally moving forward with the 4 sisters we were hoping to adopt.... and then suddenly there was roadblock after roadblock. One night as we were complaining about the process, I made the comment that I just wanted someone to call us and tell us that had kids that needed a home. Not five minutes passed and the phone rang.... there were 4 kids that needed a place to stay for a little while. I was speechless. So for the past few weeks we have had 7 children. Since I am at work, Ben is the primary caregiver during the day. I could not be married to a more amazing man!
June 25, 2009
Timing
Adopting is a very emotional journey. Things seem to be at a standstill for us, but I trying to trust in God's timing. It is so easy to say I am trusting Him, but so much harder to live that out! I know that eventually we will meet our new child(ren) but I long to have them home yesterday. Since I can see God's hand in getting us to this point, I have full confidence that He will bless us with another child(ren). I just wish we could know when and who and how many.
May 13, 2009
Large Family Discovery
In the hope that we will become a "large family," with the adoption of a sibling group of 4 girls, I have been researching large families on the Internet. I have found some fascinating parents blogging about daily life. Dorothy from Urban Servant (http://urbanservant.blogspot.com/), a mother of 10 children, responded to a question from someone considering adopting and I love her answer...
"I don't struggle with the question of begin able to parent these kids in my own strength any more. I am 100% sure that I can't. I have a bad temper, a selfish nature, I am prone to pity parties and I don't even like babies! That being said, I trust that the God who called me to live a life that is so different from what I expected won't leave me adrift and alone. You are right to wonder about love. Love isn't enough (though it is an essential thing) I think that more than the feeling of love - commitment is the thing that holds the family together on the hard days. We are committed. Come horrible days and sleepless nights I don't have to 'feel' love for my children, but I must be committed to living their lives with them 24/7 and suffering with them as they face their own challenges. Adding that to the rock solid assurance that God, not me, built this family, I can face the next thing without thinking about failure or plotting ways to escape.Adopting special needs kids is a family commitment and not something that a college education really helps with. As the parent or foster parent to a kid with challenges you know you will become the expert advocate for them. Thank God for the Internet and Google!You have a heart of compassion for those without families. As I type I am praying that God would show you what part of the adoption circle you are are being drawn toward. Adoption, foster, advocate, outreach, respite care, prayer partner or something else.....every piece of the cycle is important. Finding your place in it can be so much fun!"
I love her answer! Love it!
"I don't struggle with the question of begin able to parent these kids in my own strength any more. I am 100% sure that I can't. I have a bad temper, a selfish nature, I am prone to pity parties and I don't even like babies! That being said, I trust that the God who called me to live a life that is so different from what I expected won't leave me adrift and alone. You are right to wonder about love. Love isn't enough (though it is an essential thing) I think that more than the feeling of love - commitment is the thing that holds the family together on the hard days. We are committed. Come horrible days and sleepless nights I don't have to 'feel' love for my children, but I must be committed to living their lives with them 24/7 and suffering with them as they face their own challenges. Adding that to the rock solid assurance that God, not me, built this family, I can face the next thing without thinking about failure or plotting ways to escape.Adopting special needs kids is a family commitment and not something that a college education really helps with. As the parent or foster parent to a kid with challenges you know you will become the expert advocate for them. Thank God for the Internet and Google!You have a heart of compassion for those without families. As I type I am praying that God would show you what part of the adoption circle you are are being drawn toward. Adoption, foster, advocate, outreach, respite care, prayer partner or something else.....every piece of the cycle is important. Finding your place in it can be so much fun!"
I love her answer! Love it!
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