Next Time

Today I went out to pick up a few things from the food store and a man in line, around 60, was talking to the woman behind him. It was obvious they knew each other. The woman asked the man about his plans for Thanksgiving and he said that he did not know yet what he was doing. She giggly teased him about not getting invited to someone's house (in general). He, in a more serious tone, said that indeed he had not been invited yet. He commented that perhaps he would find his invitation at The Hotel (a local bar) tonight.
I was sure that the woman would end up extending an invitation to the man... a simple... well you are always welcome at our house... but she did not.
I seriously thought about inviting him to our Thanksgiving. Even after I left I almost went back into the store to invite him... but I did not.
I could list reason after reason that I should not have invited him, but I will be reminded tomorrow of why I should have. For when I am surrounded by a table full of too much food and a family to share it with, he may be alone.
And that bothers me!

Often we choose to say nothing because it is easier and safer.
Often we choose to stand on the sidelines because joining in may be too painful.
Often we choose to pass by because stopping holds uncertainty.
Often we choose to pray for someone else yet fear being inconvenienced.*
Often we choose wrong.

So next time I am asking. Because the feeling you get from being the crazy stranger in the line to show kindness is much better than regret.


*Which do you pray: "God comfort the heartbroken family?" or "God use me to bring comfort to that family?"

In Processing

I have spent much time "in processing." Our foster children moved to a new foster home at the end of September and I have spent the past few weeks trying to settle back into normal. Over the course of the last 3 years, we have had different people live in our house that being just the 5 of us has not happened for awhile.
The experience of foster parenting was wild! I think I need more time before I can fully reflect on everything. There are things that I may never be able to say and yet so much I will need to share. What a journey.
I say that I am in detox now (not that I have firsthand experience in that), but going from a whirlwind high, nonstop, constant loud, always on mindset and day to quiet and reflection, has caused an emotional and physical letdown.
No matter where I end up in my processing, my greatest wish is that I was able to give the kids hope: That they felt loved, that they saw a different way of life, and that they felt safety and peace.

Change of Events

So... a big change of events. Things were finally moving forward with the 4 sisters we were hoping to adopt.... and then suddenly there was roadblock after roadblock. One night as we were complaining about the process, I made the comment that I just wanted someone to call us and tell us that had kids that needed a home. Not five minutes passed and the phone rang.... there were 4 kids that needed a place to stay for a little while. I was speechless. So for the past few weeks we have had 7 children. Since I am at work, Ben is the primary caregiver during the day. I could not be married to a more amazing man!

Timing

Adopting is a very emotional journey. Things seem to be at a standstill for us, but I trying to trust in God's timing. It is so easy to say I am trusting Him, but so much harder to live that out! I know that eventually we will meet our new child(ren) but I long to have them home yesterday. Since I can see God's hand in getting us to this point, I have full confidence that He will bless us with another child(ren). I just wish we could know when and who and how many.