Trust and Obey

Recently I had the revelation that I am not really trusting God. There is a situation right now that has been draining me (emotionally and physically) for weeks and I thought I had given it to God...
Today though I realized that I am not trusting God. I cannot say I ever really heard the voice of God as one would hear someone speak, but I sensed today that I am not trusting Him. I felt God saying to me, "Just trust Me," and I responded,"But I am." And he impressed on me , "No, you are not." And then I could almost see him standing there in my kitchen, with his hands stretched out in front of him, palms up as if reaching to take my burden, tenderly looking at me with his eyes reflecting my sadness saying, "Trust me." And I knew that I had not trusted Him. I have not really sought his comfort, direction and love.
I need to trust Him.

"But we never can prove, The delights of His love, Until all on the altar we lay; For the favor He shows, and the joy He bestows, Are for them who will trust and obey.... Trust and obey for there's no other way, To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey."

Interpretation

Stress! Things have been rough the past few weeks and no matter how hard I try to have a positive attitude, my days still ends stressful. I think it is like Pavlov's classical conditioning--- even now hearing a person's name immediately brings me stress, a CR or conditioned response. Thankfully this is not everyday. And boy do I really look forward to those days.
Other the other hand I keep reminding myself that I do believe that the will of God will not lead you, where the grace of God cannot keep you. I just am trying to make sure that I am interpreting the will of God correctly.

Literally

The other day Cassidy asked for a napkin to wipe her face. She proceeded to wipe her face and I told her she needed to "wipe the other side." She took the napkin and tried to wipe her bottom.
Sometimes I forget she is (almost) 2 and takes things literally.

Exploring Adoption

We have officially started exploring adoption! This is an exciting and scary time for us. Adoption is something I have always felt called to do and we have both come to a point where we are ready to really consider adopting. The girls are very excited about the idea of welcoming a new brother or sister into our home.
It is strange to me to think that somewhere in our world is a little child waiting for a family and that we may be that family.
I ask for you to pray for us when we come to mind. Pray as we fill out all the paperwork and journey through this process, pray that we will sense God's leading and hear him clearly, pray for our teachers, social workers, and everyone involved in working with us, and pray for our son or daughter who does not yet know we love them.