December 11, 2009

Friday's Five

Often we tend to forget the good that happens each day. In an effort to combat this, I am going to start a weekly post- Friday's Five. This will (hopefully) help me take time to remember how truly blessed I am.

So today I am thankful for:
1.Matt Pelletier and the college student who pushed my car up the hill when I got stuck in the snow.
2. Coming home to a warm house thanks to the fabulous fire that Ben built.
3. Daughters who want to sleep together, set up their "room" for the night, get ready for bed, and tell us we don't need to come in to do devotions, that they have their own Bible in the room. And then hearing Maddie read devotions to her younger sisters.
4. Friends who send me an e-mail just to see how I am doing... and knowing they really care. Thanks Angela!
5. A God who supplies all my needs long before I even know they exist.

November 25, 2009

Next Time

Today I went out to pick up a few things from the food store and a man in line, around 60, was talking to the woman behind him. It was obvious they knew each other. The woman asked the man about his plans for Thanksgiving and he said that he did not know yet what he was doing. She giggly teased him about not getting invited to someone's house (in general). He, in a more serious tone, said that indeed he had not been invited yet. He commented that perhaps he would find his invitation at The Hotel (a local bar) tonight.
I was sure that the woman would end up extending an invitation to the man... a simple... well you are always welcome at our house... but she did not.
I seriously thought about inviting him to our Thanksgiving. Even after I left I almost went back into the store to invite him... but I did not.
I could list reason after reason that I should not have invited him, but I will be reminded tomorrow of why I should have. For when I am surrounded by a table full of too much food and a family to share it with, he may be alone.
And that bothers me!

Often we choose to say nothing because it is easier and safer.
Often we choose to stand on the sidelines because joining in may be too painful.
Often we choose to pass by because stopping holds uncertainty.
Often we choose to pray for someone else yet fear being inconvenienced.*
Often we choose wrong.

So next time I am asking. Because the feeling you get from being the crazy stranger in the line to show kindness is much better than regret.

*Which do you pray: "God comfort the heartbroken family?" or "God use me to bring comfort to that family?"

October 16, 2009

In Processing

I have spent much time "in processing." Our foster children moved to a new foster home at the end of September and I have spent the past few weeks trying to settle back into normal. Over the course of the last 3 years, we have had different people live in our house that being just the 5 of us has not happened for awhile.
The experience of foster parenting was wild! I think I need more time before I can fully reflect on everything. There are things that I may never be able to say and yet so much I will need to share. What a journey.
I say that I am in detox now (not that I have firsthand experience in that), but going from a whirlwind high, nonstop, constant loud, always on mindset and day to quiet and reflection, has caused an emotional and physical letdown.
No matter where I end up in my processing, my greatest wish is that I was able to give the kids hope: That they felt loved, that they saw a different way of life, and that they felt safety and peace.

July 15, 2009

Change of Events

So... a big change of events. Things were finally moving forward with the 4 sisters we were hoping to adopt.... and then suddenly there was roadblock after roadblock. One night as we were complaining about the process, I made the comment that I just wanted someone to call us and tell us that had kids that needed a home. Not five minutes passed and the phone rang.... there were 4 kids that needed a place to stay for a little while. I was speechless. So for the past few weeks we have had 7 children. Since I am at work, Ben is the primary caregiver during the day. I could not be married to a more amazing man!

June 25, 2009


Adopting is a very emotional journey. Things seem to be at a standstill for us, but I trying to trust in God's timing. It is so easy to say I am trusting Him, but so much harder to live that out! I know that eventually we will meet our new child(ren) but I long to have them home yesterday. Since I can see God's hand in getting us to this point, I have full confidence that He will bless us with another child(ren). I just wish we could know when and who and how many.

May 13, 2009

Large Family Discovery

In the hope that we will become a "large family," with the adoption of a sibling group of 4 girls, I have been researching large families on the Internet. I have found some fascinating parents blogging about daily life. Dorothy from Urban Servant (, a mother of 10 children, responded to a question from someone considering adopting and I love her answer...
"I don't struggle with the question of begin able to parent these kids in my own strength any more. I am 100% sure that I can't. I have a bad temper, a selfish nature, I am prone to pity parties and I don't even like babies! That being said, I trust that the God who called me to live a life that is so different from what I expected won't leave me adrift and alone. You are right to wonder about love. Love isn't enough (though it is an essential thing) I think that more than the feeling of love - commitment is the thing that holds the family together on the hard days. We are committed. Come horrible days and sleepless nights I don't have to 'feel' love for my children, but I must be committed to living their lives with them 24/7 and suffering with them as they face their own challenges. Adding that to the rock solid assurance that God, not me, built this family, I can face the next thing without thinking about failure or plotting ways to escape.Adopting special needs kids is a family commitment and not something that a college education really helps with. As the parent or foster parent to a kid with challenges you know you will become the expert advocate for them. Thank God for the Internet and Google!You have a heart of compassion for those without families. As I type I am praying that God would show you what part of the adoption circle you are are being drawn toward. Adoption, foster, advocate, outreach, respite care, prayer partner or something else.....every piece of the cycle is important. Finding your place in it can be so much fun!"

I love her answer! Love it!

May 3, 2009

A Challenge

Found this anonymous quote and I cannot get it out of my mind.
"Sometimes I would like to ask God why He allows poverty, suffering, and injustice when He could do something about it."
"Well, why don't you ask Him?"
"Because I'm afraid He would ask me the same question."

April 4, 2009

Enjoy Today

Since our homestudy was complete we have spent hours searching for our son or daughter. We have had our homestudy sent in to be considered for about 5 children and now wait. Ben and I are having a hard time being patient--It is hard not knowing if we will be matched with any of these children. I can say that I am trusting God and I am, but I also want the answers now, which really contradicts the trust part.
Additionally, I have been thinking a lot about how I want the next step to be here and am forgetting to enjoy the blessings I am surrounded with. I want to meet our new son or daughter, yet often rush my girls through things so that I can get to the next thing. I am forgetting to enjoy our family as it is now because I am focused on what it is going to be like with the addition to our family. I am not saying it is not good to think and plan ahead, but in planning ahead I miss the life of today.
In the front of my Bible I have the words to the song Day by Day written on the cover. This line really comes to mind tonight: "He whose heart is kind beyond all measure, gives unto each day what he deems best."
So I try to plan and be excited about what the future holds, while remembering to enjoy that which God has blessed me with today.

February 3, 2009

An Identified Family

So today, in a sense, it officially begins. We received our final homestudy report. As I write this I am crying tears of joy and sadness. It is so unreal to me to actually be at this point. Since middle school I wanted to adopt. It is so hard to explain, but it is just something I have always known I would do. Imagine my surprise when Ben and I talked about this for the first time in 1999 and this was not something he wanted to do. I told him that I would not nag him about changing his mind. I told him that I would pray about it and if it is something he would ever consider doing then we would proceed. Oh that was hard to let it be.
It was not until 2006 that we talked about this again. It was a friend of mind who was going through adoption that opened us this door for us. I remember telling Ben about this situation and his response being totally different than I expected. Our original discussion ended up that we would consider adoption sometime in the future, but only of an infant. I inquired of a local adoption agency to see what was involved and what the cost were. We were not ready yet to proceed.
In the summer of 2008 we really thought we were not going to have a homestay student and started talking about what to do with the extra bedroom. Adoption came up again and I started looking at the children waiting for a forever family photolistings. I can never look through these listings without my heart breaking for so many kids that need a family. I showed Ben a few of these and we decided we were ready to seriously think about adopting. But I knew we had to be on the same page about this and I said to Ben that I did not want an infant and he felt the same way. We talked more and were completely on the same page about this.... well maybe not everything... as I would adopt like 6 kids and Ben 1 or 2.
We talked with our good friend Angela and it just so happened that the local foster care classes were starting in a week. We decided to proceed and go through this training as we would like to adopt through the foster care system.
So to be at this point where essentially we are being considered as parents for a child(ren) is so unreal to me. I pray for patience as we wait to hear about our inquiries, for wisdom as our file is reviewed for specific children, for guidance as we are presented with possibilities, and for peace as we do not proceed or are not "chosen" for a child.
And here is the sadness part... I pray that for every child that we cannot provide a home for, that someone else will. It makes me so sad to think of children going through life without a forever family. I know that we are not the right parents for every child, but I also strongly believe that somewhere there is- there is the right parent(s) for each child. So I pray for those connections to be made. One quote that I really like is "There are no unwanted children; just unidentified families." I so look forward to the day when we are one less unidentified family.

January 16, 2009

Wny not me?

For the past 14 weeks we have been dealing with Ben's Achilles. And it really is we. The lows have outweighed the up times during this ordeal. I have sat staring at nothingness for hours, to tired to move and frozen in depression.
As I sat looking through my "journal" I found this quote from The Fred Factor by Mark Sanborn.... "Why not me? I have faith and I am tough. I can take it." I do not remember the exact story surrounding this, but do recall the woman was facing some sort of illness and when others sympathetically looked at her this was her response.
I admit I had zero grace the first time around. Poor Ben on bed rest was suffering enough, yet I only inflicted more guilt on him. Sure I did it all, but not without complaining.
So when we learned of the third infection I questioned God... surely He knew I lacked grace, patience and stamina to do it all again.... but here I am...
So I am in the battle to not let this infection consume our life and not to fall into a state of hopelessness.
Perhaps I will even have some grace.
So, with some trepidation, I say.... "Why not me? I have faith and I am tough. I can take it."