November 10, 2008

Peace. Soon. Please

I am searching for peace in this mess with Ben's infections. (Sadly Ben's Achilles tendon surgery has resulted in two infections, medications, and bed rest.) I was chatting with a good friend last night and she mentioned Job. Even more so, I cannot imagine how he managed through all of his trials.
I feel so far from peace. I really do feel like Jesus is right next to me yet I cannot reach him. I suppose I could be inflicting this on myself, but I feel removed. That there is this barrier between us. I know we are surrounded in prayer and love, yet I feel distant from the Comforter.
I tried to sing praises in church, yet all I could do was cry.
I am broken. I want to be strong, have confidence that He is in control, and able to accept the recovery period with grace, yet I am empty.
So please, God, please send me peace. soon. please.