May 23, 2013

You Actually Were Born to Fly

In the quiet of the morning I stood with my bare feet nestled in the soft St. Augustine grass that adorns our front yard. A very faint swishing noise catches my ear and I turn to glimpse an orange and black butterfly in flight. I watch this butterfly make loops in the air until it flies off beyond my view.

A few years ago the girls and I ordered a butterfly house and bought some butterfly eggs. We took care of the eggs and watched as they grew into caterpillars. The third stage of their life cycle was amazing as we watched the caterpillars reached their full length and form themselves into chrysalises.
 The chrysalises attached themselves to a branch in their butterfly house and began changing into butterflies. An amazing metamorphosis in the safety of their cocoon. Finally, we watched as butterflies emerged and unfolded their wings and gained strength to fly. In the end we released our butterflies into the great outdoors.

As I sit here and think about this process I am reminded of how we can relate life to the growth of a butterfly. We all start out and progress to a point until we find ourselves attached onto something--- here many of us get stuck.

We attach ourselves to the safety of a relationship despite the lack of love, to the security of a job that we have been in for years and years with no raise or challenge, to the familiarity of a place that we long have outgrown.

We stay clung to the branch sitting restless inside our cocoon because we fear the process of our own metamorphosis. We convince ourselves that it is okay. We become the greatest actors masking our wishes, dreams, and desires behind false fulfillment and a smile without joy.

Sometimes we know what we want but just can't find our way to get there. Other times life throws hell and more hell onto us that darkness overwhelms us and we muddle though each day the best we can. Some of us don't know exactly what we want; but recognize the restlessness within us to know we are not there yet.

It is okay. Most people choose to forgo finding their amazing and stay put.

For the past few years I have undergone my own transformation. Truthfully, I am still emerging. There are painful parts that I am still working through and learning to let go. There are days I want to crawl back into my safe place. It hurts. Yet, the peace I have found supersedes the pain and I continue my process.

A necessary painful exfoliation of fighting through the dark to get to the beautiful.

Others have decided it was their time too and I encourage them as they fight through their dark to find the strength to spread their wings and fly.

And God, it is beautiful to watch.

The truth is we all possess the strength to grow beyond our common and be the uniquely created being that we were born to become. Some just don't know how.

Born from our personal journey's and our desire to help others, Mike and I have spent a long time talking about what we could do. We finally realized that through the beauty of technology we could help others by offering online workshops and create an online supportive environment for others. A virtual cocoon of friends all working through their dark to emerge. After all, it's is always nice to know you are not alone.

When we released the butterflies from their house a few fought the new environment. Eventually though each one made it's way to full flight.

Are you ready?

Check out our first class starting in June focusing on Surviving Dark Times at

May 8, 2013

Happy Birthday to Me

Friday looms on turning the page                                            
Another year gone by;
Body changes, a few gray hairs,
Glasses a necessity not just a rage

Getting older may not be fun
But you cannot stop;
Natural physical changes that occur,
Nope, you can't even stop just one

But the mind, on the mind one can adjust
To never lose childlike awe;
Beauty abounds in the simple,
Joyfully overdosing on wanderlust

Kisses from the ocean floor
Dancing in the rain;
Jumping into the waves
Never seeing a closed door

Singing like your inner rock star
Laughing just because;
Coloring never in the lines
Not caring it's too far

Believing in miracles so true and real
Dandelion wishes sent;
Admiring natures animals
Giving kisses endlessly, even more to steal

Rainbow reminders that something greater exists
Blessings of years gone by;
Thank you God for thirty-five
I am ready for thirty-six!

May 1, 2013

Love Lessons

The sticky late night August air swam through the crevices of the screened door. Shadows of sugar maple tree branches sprinkled across the entryway floor casting images of lovers entwined. Fireflies danced.

A small bench supported him as he sat down. He reached out and gently pulled her towards him. Wrapping his hands around her waist, he brushed the bare skin of her back accidentally as her shirt had come untucked. He placed his forehead against her stomach and sighed.

The wind kissed their skin as their hearts erratically beat. Silence loomed.

He moved his hands to her hips pulling her closer, and nestled his head deeper into her stomach.

"What do you want from me?" he whispered.

The question she had wanted for forever now made her mute.

Her head swarmed with visions of their life. Travel, adventure, simple joy. Laughter, dancing, unexpected bliss. Glimpses of beautiful, pure, wonderful love. In a moment they went from young lovers to parents to grandparents to holding hands as they rocked side by side in rocking chairs.

Her tongue wrestled to find the right words to say all this.

Time was now.

Somewhere in the distance a clock struck two times.

She placed both of her hands on the back of his head. Her deep breath made his head bob up and down for a moment.

"I don't know," she finally said. Her voice echoing eerily in the muted night.

His head shook in affirmation.

An unknown amount of time passed before he stood up, took her hand, and walked her to her car.

Before opening the door he took her face in his hands and turned her head towards him. Their eyes held mutual tears. He pulled her closer and hugged her goodbye.

She knew this was love lost.

She sat behind the steering wheel placing her keys in the ignition. He reached out and touched her through the glass of her window.

Wanting to touch her, but realizing that barrier now went deeper than a windowpane.

She would relive this night throughout her life. Not lamenting what might have been, but never missing the moment.

That night had given her an uncanny ability to face life with a force of bravery and passion that what do you want from me would never go unanswered.

And when just a little while ago, another he sat on top of the the dining room table, bare feet dangling off the side, and asked her the same question, she smiled. She walked to him, placed her hands on his knees, looked him in his eyes, found her words, and told him all that she desired.

And that was the life she received.

I stand in awe of the love I have been gifted. Knowing that I have never before felt the depths of pure unconditional bliss you have shown me. Thank you for the most beautiful life.