So today, in a sense, it officially begins. We received our final homestudy report. As I write this I am crying tears of joy and sadness. It is so unreal to me to actually be at this point. Since middle school I wanted to adopt. It is so hard to explain, but it is just something I have always known I would do. Imagine my surprise when Ben and I talked about this for the first time in 1999 and this was not something he wanted to do. I told him that I would not nag him about changing his mind. I told him that I would pray about it and if it is something he would ever consider doing then we would proceed. Oh that was hard to let it be.
It was not until 2006 that we talked about this again. It was a friend of mind who was going through adoption that opened us this door for us. I remember telling Ben about this situation and his response being totally different than I expected. Our original discussion ended up that we would consider adoption sometime in the future, but only of an infant. I inquired of a local adoption agency to see what was involved and what the cost were. We were not ready yet to proceed.
In the summer of 2008 we really thought we were not going to have a homestay student and started talking about what to do with the extra bedroom. Adoption came up again and I started looking at the children waiting for a forever family photolistings. I can never look through these listings without my heart breaking for so many kids that need a family. I showed Ben a few of these and we decided we were ready to seriously think about adopting. But I knew we had to be on the same page about this and I said to Ben that I did not want an infant and he felt the same way. We talked more and were completely on the same page about this.... well maybe not everything... as I would adopt like 6 kids and Ben 1 or 2.
We talked with our good friend Angela and it just so happened that the local foster care classes were starting in a week. We decided to proceed and go through this training as we would like to adopt through the foster care system.
So to be at this point where essentially we are being considered as parents for a child(ren) is so unreal to me. I pray for patience as we wait to hear about our inquiries, for wisdom as our file is reviewed for specific children, for guidance as we are presented with possibilities, and for peace as we do not proceed or are not "chosen" for a child.
And here is the sadness part... I pray that for every child that we cannot provide a home for, that someone else will. It makes me so sad to think of children going through life without a forever family. I know that we are not the right parents for every child, but I also strongly believe that somewhere there is- there is the right parent(s) for each child. So I pray for those connections to be made. One quote that I really like is "There are no unwanted children; just unidentified families." I so look forward to the day when we are one less unidentified family.