January 7, 2010

Living

Live. I think for many of us we think we are living, but what I have discovered lately is that often we become complacent in the safety of our lives that we forget to really live. I have always been a pretty positive person, but somewhere along the line, I started to become too practical. "We can't do that... because..." became more and more my response. Perhaps it was out of fear of embarrassment or lack of immediate resources, but my endless field of dreams started shrinking. Due to no specific set of circumstances I began to realize that living had become a checklist of daily routines and that needed to change.

Reflection. I have spent a lot of time reflecting on my life and have uncovered some "beliefs" I developed. I am not sure where these "beliefs" came from but I realized I am working hard so that one day I can retire and travel or learn a new hobby, that my daughters will have a better childhood because I am raising them in the country, that my marriage will be better because I live in a small "Christian" town, and that living a life of purpose means settling in comfort. I began to realize that these "beliefs" were faulty and also needed to change.

Change. I am uncertain as to what my future holds and yet I find myself gearing up for the adventure. Retirement will come someday, but I am not waiting until then to travel or learn a new hobby. And my daughters will have a great childhood because of the way they were raised and loved. And my marriage will be strong because I worked at it. I am not bound by fear of practicality or stifled by routine. I am ready to be challenged, uncomforted, and used for whatever God has in mind.

For I believe that in really living we can embrace our passions and find the true nature of who we were made to be.