It has been awhile since I have posted, I know. There is so much that I have been thinking lately and I have not had much time to write.
I am realizing that they way I want to be is not the way I am. The life that I want to have is not the one I am living. More importantly I wonder if it lines up with what God wants for me.
I started the year off feeling so close to God and loved, loved the feeling that he was right beside me... that I could turn and talk to Him any time (and I did) and He was right there. I felt truly in His presence and in relationship with Him. But somewhere along the line I let our relationship go.
I know God is still standing beside me, I see Him daily as I am surrounded by His blessings, yet I have let this relationship become one-sided. I have not invested into our relationship lately.
So as I look forward to the close of one year and the beginning of another I seek to stop going through the motions and live.
One of my new favorite songs is The Motions by Matthew West-
"This might hurt, It's not safe, but I know that I've gotta make a change, I don't care if I break, at least I'll be feeling something, 'cause just ok is not enough. Help me fight through the nothingness of life, I don't wanna go through the motions, I don't wanna go one more day without your all consuming passion inside of me. I don't want to spend my whole life asking- What if I had given everything? Instead of going through the motions."
I desire to be the Sarah that God wants me to be. I desire to feel truly in His presence and fulfilling His purpose for me in this life. I desire to live. Truly living in each day.