Timing

Adopting is a very emotional journey. Things seem to be at a standstill for us, but I trying to trust in God's timing. It is so easy to say I am trusting Him, but so much harder to live that out! I know that eventually we will meet our new child(ren) but I long to have them home yesterday. Since I can see God's hand in getting us to this point, I have full confidence that He will bless us with another child(ren). I just wish we could know when and who and how many.

Large Family Discovery

In the hope that we will become a "large family," with the adoption of a sibling group of 4 girls, I have been researching large families on the Internet. I have found some fascinating parents blogging about daily life. Dorothy from Urban Servant (http://urbanservant.blogspot.com/), a mother of 10 children, responded to a question from someone considering adopting and I love her answer...
"I don't struggle with the question of begin able to parent these kids in my own strength any more. I am 100% sure that I can't. I have a bad temper, a selfish nature, I am prone to pity parties and I don't even like babies! That being said, I trust that the God who called me to live a life that is so different from what I expected won't leave me adrift and alone. You are right to wonder about love. Love isn't enough (though it is an essential thing) I think that more than the feeling of love - commitment is the thing that holds the family together on the hard days. We are committed. Come horrible days and sleepless nights I don't have to 'feel' love for my children, but I must be committed to living their lives with them 24/7 and suffering with them as they face their own challenges. Adding that to the rock solid assurance that God, not me, built this family, I can face the next thing without thinking about failure or plotting ways to escape.Adopting special needs kids is a family commitment and not something that a college education really helps with. As the parent or foster parent to a kid with challenges you know you will become the expert advocate for them. Thank God for the Internet and Google!You have a heart of compassion for those without families. As I type I am praying that God would show you what part of the adoption circle you are are being drawn toward. Adoption, foster, advocate, outreach, respite care, prayer partner or something else.....every piece of the cycle is important. Finding your place in it can be so much fun!"

I love her answer! Love it!

A Challenge

Found this anonymous quote and I cannot get it out of my mind.
"Sometimes I would like to ask God why He allows poverty, suffering, and injustice when He could do something about it."
"Well, why don't you ask Him?"
"Because I'm afraid He would ask me the same question."

Enjoy Today

Since our homestudy was complete we have spent hours searching for our son or daughter. We have had our homestudy sent in to be considered for about 5 children and now wait. Ben and I are having a hard time being patient--It is hard not knowing if we will be matched with any of these children. I can say that I am trusting God and I am, but I also want the answers now, which really contradicts the trust part.
Additionally, I have been thinking a lot about how I want the next step to be here and am forgetting to enjoy the blessings I am surrounded with. I want to meet our new son or daughter, yet often rush my girls through things so that I can get to the next thing. I am forgetting to enjoy our family as it is now because I am focused on what it is going to be like with the addition to our family. I am not saying it is not good to think and plan ahead, but in planning ahead I miss the life of today.
In the front of my Bible I have the words to the song Day by Day written on the cover. This line really comes to mind tonight: "He whose heart is kind beyond all measure, gives unto each day what he deems best."
So I try to plan and be excited about what the future holds, while remembering to enjoy that which God has blessed me with today.