I used to be a runner. Although, I suppose once you are a runner you are always a runner (hmm...well that is something I guess I need to think about more...). For various reasons I have been out of running regularly. I missed it horribly--the exercise, getting lost in thought, and the stress relief.
So this morning after a wonderful wake-up and lingering in bed, the beautiful 70 degrees invited me outside to run.
The first half mile was hard as I tried to find my breathing rhythm, but once I did I was ready. Eventually, I veered off the road to run the beach only to be greeted by a group of four unloading kayaks from their car. They were talking and laughing and the bright yellows and reds and blues from their kayaks seemed to mirror the mood of their time. It made me smile.
The sand dune up the beach was deep and soft and I felt sand spray up my legs with each step I ran. It reminded me of running in the snow for soccer practice back in high school. Although there is much more delight in the sand kissing my legs instead of snow slush.
As I got closer to the top of the sand dune I could spy the vast ocean and marveled at how calm it was. The water seemed near motionless with expanses of sand inviting you far out into the ocean floor. While footprints of earlier runners or walkers left a path inviting you to "come on in."
It was serene.
Looking into the distance I spotted a couple, weathered by time, sitting on the rock jetty. As I got closer I noticed how her head rested on his shoulder. The red hood from her coat flapped in the wind behind them creating the illusion of a kite. He smiled down at her, stopping to brush the wind blown hair from her eyes and she tilted her head up in response. This pure moment of delicate love brought tears to my eyes.
I continued down the beach admiring two little girls as they stood with the jeans rolled up letting the tide kiss their toes. The water would touch their toes and they would look at one another and just giggle. And they would do it over and over. I smiled at their jubilant delight over such a simple thing.
Admiring all that was around I got lost in thought when suddenly out of the corner of my eye I spotted a dolphin fin. I slowed my pace to see it again and when he reappeared I laughed realizing that I was "running with the dolphins." We remained partners for about a half a mile until I realized I had run father down the beach than I intended. Yet, I felt like I could run forever. There was something amazing and beautiful about this moment.
Finishing my run I marveled at how much joy running brings me. Not just for the exercise but for the time it allows me to take in the wonder of the world around me. There was so much I wanted to share so I returned home. Filled with such peace and joy and glee just knowing that it truly is a wonderful world.
Showing posts with label peace. Show all posts
Showing posts with label peace. Show all posts
November 25, 2011
August 3, 2011
It is Well, It is Well With My Soul
"When peace, like a river, attendeth my way, When sorrows like sea billows roll, Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say, It is well, it is well, with my soul."
So begins my favorite hymn.
I love to sing and will often sing along to whatever is on the radio. Yet several years ago I started to become really conflicted in worship while singing. So much that I would often not be able to sing certain songs without crying or even to the point where I could not sing the words. How can I stand there and sing "It is well with my soul," when it was not.
Sometimes singing turned into prayers--"Please, make it well with my soul."
Of course I was embarrassed to share this, so I often tried to hide it. Accepting the inner prompting of "what would others think?" as a negative. Hiding me.
What I have come to realize though is that often this is not exclusive to worship. Settling for accepting "what would others think," often leads to false happiness and dead dreams. Accepting the world we live in defined by self imposed boundaries often at the expense of ourselves.
God has designed each of us so intricately unique, so why should we become a cookie cutter image of someone else?
"One of the greatest joys in life is finding out who God made you to be, with all your personality quirks and loving it. Often when we arrive at adulthood, get married or settle into a career, we abandon parts of who we are. You might be a high-heeled girl or a flip-flop woman. Too often as we grow, we conform too much. Part of conformity is necessary to meet job requirements. Where we lose the wonder of who we are, though, is when we conform to be just like others because we are afraid to be different." (Shelia Walsh)
It is not about be bold or daring, self absorbed or vain, but finding true peace in seeing yourself as you are. Loving yourself so that you can in turn love others. Letting go of what you think the world needs and embracing your God given passions and desires and becoming alive.
It is a journey and I am choosing to grab on for the ride of my life. Moving closer and closer to the me that God made me to be. Accepting the bumps along the way, seeking forgiveness, crying out in despair, letting go, loving, discovering truth. Constantly resting in the peace that comes from understanding whatever my lot, it is undoubtedly well with my soul.
So begins my favorite hymn.
I love to sing and will often sing along to whatever is on the radio. Yet several years ago I started to become really conflicted in worship while singing. So much that I would often not be able to sing certain songs without crying or even to the point where I could not sing the words. How can I stand there and sing "It is well with my soul," when it was not.
Sometimes singing turned into prayers--"Please, make it well with my soul."
Of course I was embarrassed to share this, so I often tried to hide it. Accepting the inner prompting of "what would others think?" as a negative. Hiding me.
What I have come to realize though is that often this is not exclusive to worship. Settling for accepting "what would others think," often leads to false happiness and dead dreams. Accepting the world we live in defined by self imposed boundaries often at the expense of ourselves.
God has designed each of us so intricately unique, so why should we become a cookie cutter image of someone else?
"One of the greatest joys in life is finding out who God made you to be, with all your personality quirks and loving it. Often when we arrive at adulthood, get married or settle into a career, we abandon parts of who we are. You might be a high-heeled girl or a flip-flop woman. Too often as we grow, we conform too much. Part of conformity is necessary to meet job requirements. Where we lose the wonder of who we are, though, is when we conform to be just like others because we are afraid to be different." (Shelia Walsh)
It is not about be bold or daring, self absorbed or vain, but finding true peace in seeing yourself as you are. Loving yourself so that you can in turn love others. Letting go of what you think the world needs and embracing your God given passions and desires and becoming alive.
It is a journey and I am choosing to grab on for the ride of my life. Moving closer and closer to the me that God made me to be. Accepting the bumps along the way, seeking forgiveness, crying out in despair, letting go, loving, discovering truth. Constantly resting in the peace that comes from understanding whatever my lot, it is undoubtedly well with my soul.
November 10, 2008
Peace. Soon. Please
I am searching for peace in this mess with Ben's infections. (Sadly Ben's Achilles tendon surgery has resulted in two infections, medications, and bed rest.) I was chatting with a good friend last night and she mentioned Job. Even more so, I cannot imagine how he managed through all of his trials.
I feel so far from peace. I really do feel like Jesus is right next to me yet I cannot reach him. I suppose I could be inflicting this on myself, but I feel removed. That there is this barrier between us. I know we are surrounded in prayer and love, yet I feel distant from the Comforter.
I tried to sing praises in church, yet all I could do was cry.
I am broken. I want to be strong, have confidence that He is in control, and able to accept the recovery period with grace, yet I am empty.
So please, God, please send me peace. soon. please.
I feel so far from peace. I really do feel like Jesus is right next to me yet I cannot reach him. I suppose I could be inflicting this on myself, but I feel removed. That there is this barrier between us. I know we are surrounded in prayer and love, yet I feel distant from the Comforter.
I tried to sing praises in church, yet all I could do was cry.
I am broken. I want to be strong, have confidence that He is in control, and able to accept the recovery period with grace, yet I am empty.
So please, God, please send me peace. soon. please.
July 9, 2008
It is well with my soul
Today my grandmother entered into the presence of her Heavenly Father. It also happens to be my mom's birthday, and it was her mother who passed.
I search for comfort, looking to my Lord silently singing...."When peace like a river attendeth my soul, when sorrows like sea billows roll, whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, It is well, it is well with my soul."
Oh I wish those words could only help the ache go away. For I cling to the hope and promise that I will be able to rest in the knowledge that it really is well with my soul.
I have carried a card around in my Bible that we received when Pop passed away in 1995. " A rose once grew where all could see, sheltered beside a garden wall, And, as the days passed swiftly by, it spread its branches, straight and tall... One day a beam of light shone through a crevice that had opened wide--- The rose bent gently towards its warmth then passed beyond to the other side.... Now, you who deeply feel its loss, be comforted--- the rose blooms there--- Its beauty even greater now nurtured by God's own loving care."
Oh God, thank you for allowing us to be blessed with Grandma for so many years. Thank you for sustaining her through trials and never letting her faith waver. Thank you for loving her more than we ever could. Thank you for ending her pain and welcoming her home. Thank you for loving me and hearing my cry in sorrow.
I search for comfort, looking to my Lord silently singing...."When peace like a river attendeth my soul, when sorrows like sea billows roll, whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, It is well, it is well with my soul."
Oh I wish those words could only help the ache go away. For I cling to the hope and promise that I will be able to rest in the knowledge that it really is well with my soul.
I have carried a card around in my Bible that we received when Pop passed away in 1995. " A rose once grew where all could see, sheltered beside a garden wall, And, as the days passed swiftly by, it spread its branches, straight and tall... One day a beam of light shone through a crevice that had opened wide--- The rose bent gently towards its warmth then passed beyond to the other side.... Now, you who deeply feel its loss, be comforted--- the rose blooms there--- Its beauty even greater now nurtured by God's own loving care."
Oh God, thank you for allowing us to be blessed with Grandma for so many years. Thank you for sustaining her through trials and never letting her faith waver. Thank you for loving her more than we ever could. Thank you for ending her pain and welcoming her home. Thank you for loving me and hearing my cry in sorrow.
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