"Friend" or Friend

My closet is full of dark skeletons that I wish to go away, but don't.

 

Over the last several years I have tried to allow who I am to be who I was in life.

 

But the sad truth is that in doing this, I lost a lot.

 

People no longer associated with me.

 

They found fault in everything I did. 

 

They talked behind my back.

 

Truths became twisted to fit their narrow view of understanding.

 

As I was learning to love me, I found others no longer did.

 

My already fragmented trust was broken further.

 

Wasn't this process of being authentically me suppose to be freeing?

 

It was. Just not as I expected.

 

Looking back I realize I lost what held me back from being me.

 

Painful at the time, I now understand it was necessary.

 

Freeing was found in letting go.

 

This not only meant my feelings or emotions or roles, but of other people.

 

I did not choose to let anybody go. They left.

 

And perhaps that is what hurt the most. It wasn't my choice.

 

I felt abandoned and alone.

 

Until I realized that truth.

 

There was still a collection of people who loved me as I became me.

 

It was small, but their love was great. Real.

 

And I would rather have a handful of friends who love me authentically, than a world full of people who love me selfishly.