It is time to clear out the crap hindering my 2013 joie de vivre. (www.sarahelink.blogspot.com/2013/01/introducing-my-2013.html)
While we can never truly start over we can release that which holds us back. Or so I hope.
I participated in an online course in which we were encouraged to let go and leave behind those things that are harmful habits or that cause us to think negative, especially about ourselves.
A sheet of paper holds the list of things I have started to try to purge. Many are blemishes where I have failed to give forgiveness. I am a master at pulling out the past to use as ammunition in the now. This is perhaps the biggest area of struggle for me.
It is more than difficult to take the hurt of deep wounds and find the grace to wipe the slate clean. Yet I know God does this over and over and over again with me.
To really be in the now and honor myself in my journey, I need to take the time to commit the things I need to let go onto paper. My plan is to burn the slips of paper in a "burning of the grievances ceremony." I am somewhat skeptical that I will actually have the strength that though this exercise I will actually be able to release these things, but it is worth a try.
The pitter-patter of the rain surrounds me as it hits the windows from the outside. The barrier of glass protecting me from the wet cold uncomfortable of what could be. I think of how emotionally purging myself could invite the uncomfortable in. There are just some places I do not want to visit again. Yet I know I must purge that which is contrary to the now without judgement of myself.
I pick up my pen and re-read the list which I have started. Across it I have written, "Nothing here holds me back permanently or defines me now. I have the choice to move forward, forgive and release."
I share this part of my journey publicly so that I am held accountable. I have not yet decided how much of my "grievances list" I want to share, but I will let you know in my next post.
If you have things that you need to release from 2012, I encourage you to write them out. Maybe even perhaps we can have a simultaneous burning of the grievances ceremony. I am willing to attempt this physical act of releasing so that my 2013 can be the best year yet for myself. Are you?