November 21, 2013

Who really wants to stand in an oversized net with balls being kicked at them from every angle?

The soccer season ended with both her arms wrapped in casts. Perhaps a better story could have been told, but the truth was her Bolivian soccer coach had done this during a practice. A dive the wrong way by her and the strength and precision of a professional soccer players kick had this end result.

But the season was over and she could heal.
Indoor practices began and every one on the team took turns being goalie.

This was not a favored position. Who really wants to stand in an over sized net with balls being kicked at them from every angle?

After several practices he came up to her and said, "Sarah, I want you to think about being our goalie for the next season."

My blue eyes threw all sorts of trashy thoughts his way. Images of her broken arms stuck in my head. A crazy spiral of my own personal destruction played through my mind.

His hand rested on my forearm, bringing me back to the present.

"I believe that you can do this Sarah! I know you are afraid, but you are strong. Just think about it."

I would end up having one successful career as goalie the next season (we moved to NY the following year). Minus breaking all of my fingers at different times, I suffered from no other injuries.

I still have the write-ups from the newspaper about me. They remind me that when I put my mind to something, regardless of how scary it can be, great things can happen.

Looking back most of my greatest moments have resulted in letting go of fear.

My relationship with God started out of my fear of burning in hell. But like anything rooted in fear it was doomed to fail. Until I learned that God is full of love and grace for me.

Letting go of the comfort of a safe community and moving to the city has filled my once predictable daily existence with wonderment.

Choosing to work for myself from home without the security of a steady paycheck has broadened my skill set and I create things I never knew I could.

Learning to not worry about what others think about me has brought an inner beauty and peace.

Marrying one who many warned me not to continues to flood my life with love I never imagined.

I made a choice to follow my heart, to listen to myself, to believe, to let go of other's chatter that fueled my own fears and what has become is extraordinary.

Looking down at my crooked finger's typing these words, I smile. Knowing that Javier's belief in me touched me deeper than just soccer. I learned to believe in myself.

There is something you want to do today, tomorrow, or next year. You know what it is, but fear holds you back. How...lingers in your head while your heart screams but what if...

"I believe that you can do this! I know you are afraid, but you are strong. Just think about it."


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