I used to be a runner. Although, I suppose once you are a runner you are always a runner (hmm...well that is something I guess I need to think about more...). For various reasons I have been out of running regularly. I missed it horribly--the exercise, getting lost in thought, and the stress relief.
So this morning after a wonderful wake-up and lingering in bed, the beautiful 70 degrees invited me outside to run.
The first half mile was hard as I tried to find my breathing rhythm, but once I did I was ready. Eventually, I veered off the road to run the beach only to be greeted by a group of four unloading kayaks from their car. They were talking and laughing and the bright yellows and reds and blues from their kayaks seemed to mirror the mood of their time. It made me smile.
The sand dune up the beach was deep and soft and I felt sand spray up my legs with each step I ran. It reminded me of running in the snow for soccer practice back in high school. Although there is much more delight in the sand kissing my legs instead of snow slush.
As I got closer to the top of the sand dune I could spy the vast ocean and marveled at how calm it was. The water seemed near motionless with expanses of sand inviting you far out into the ocean floor. While footprints of earlier runners or walkers left a path inviting you to "come on in."
It was serene.
Looking into the distance I spotted a couple, weathered by time, sitting on the rock jetty. As I got closer I noticed how her head rested on his shoulder. The red hood from her coat flapped in the wind behind them creating the illusion of a kite. He smiled down at her, stopping to brush the wind blown hair from her eyes and she tilted her head up in response. This pure moment of delicate love brought tears to my eyes.
I continued down the beach admiring two little girls as they stood with the jeans rolled up letting the tide kiss their toes. The water would touch their toes and they would look at one another and just giggle. And they would do it over and over. I smiled at their jubilant delight over such a simple thing.
Admiring all that was around I got lost in thought when suddenly out of the corner of my eye I spotted a dolphin fin. I slowed my pace to see it again and when he reappeared I laughed realizing that I was "running with the dolphins." We remained partners for about a half a mile until I realized I had run father down the beach than I intended. Yet, I felt like I could run forever. There was something amazing and beautiful about this moment.
Finishing my run I marveled at how much joy running brings me. Not just for the exercise but for the time it allows me to take in the wonder of the world around me. There was so much I wanted to share so I returned home. Filled with such peace and joy and glee just knowing that it truly is a wonderful world.
Showing posts with label kinds of love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kinds of love. Show all posts
November 25, 2011
November 21, 2011
FOR ME
As I have gone through some major transitions in my life, I have chosen to not write a lot out of fear of what others would think. Would what I say be offensive? Would others think I am crazy? Would I be judged?
The sad truth is that even while I have not shared my journey, these things have still happened. Regardless, of sharing the truth of my heart, hoping that it may help someone else, I found myself still criticized for things. This only caused a downward spiral into self blame and so I chose to pull myself even tighter (because I was a pretty private person already) and surrounded and protected myself fiercely.
There was one person though, who refused to let me stand alone. Through consistent encouragement and persistent love, I was shown that even though sometimes I could not find words, and the tears would not stop, and my list of faults was endless....that I was valued. In the worst of the worst... I was still valued.
This grew to including a collection of friends---some new, some old---who sat listening, who made me laugh, who encouraged me, who opened their arms and embraced me, who invited me to their homes, who fed me... who filled my heart with hope.
William Bridges in his book "Transitions" writes that, "We have to let go of the old thing before we can pick up the new- not just outwardly, but inwardly, where we keep our connections to the people and places that act as definitions of who we are."
Great comfort is easily found in resting in what we have always known. And as much as I would like a life of great comfort, I cannot grow and become all that I made to be while resting in the familiar. So I have slowly found myself, after a brief period of just managing through each day, letting go so that I am ready.
There are still things I am working through, but I am thankful for those who have loved me unconditionally as I continue to embrace my journey. I thank God every single day for the special collection of friends that I am blessed with and love. Especially the one who despite what I said, knew what was in my heart. Thank you.
It seems so inadequate, but thank you.
The sad truth is that even while I have not shared my journey, these things have still happened. Regardless, of sharing the truth of my heart, hoping that it may help someone else, I found myself still criticized for things. This only caused a downward spiral into self blame and so I chose to pull myself even tighter (because I was a pretty private person already) and surrounded and protected myself fiercely.
There was one person though, who refused to let me stand alone. Through consistent encouragement and persistent love, I was shown that even though sometimes I could not find words, and the tears would not stop, and my list of faults was endless....that I was valued. In the worst of the worst... I was still valued.
This grew to including a collection of friends---some new, some old---who sat listening, who made me laugh, who encouraged me, who opened their arms and embraced me, who invited me to their homes, who fed me... who filled my heart with hope.
William Bridges in his book "Transitions" writes that, "We have to let go of the old thing before we can pick up the new- not just outwardly, but inwardly, where we keep our connections to the people and places that act as definitions of who we are."
Great comfort is easily found in resting in what we have always known. And as much as I would like a life of great comfort, I cannot grow and become all that I made to be while resting in the familiar. So I have slowly found myself, after a brief period of just managing through each day, letting go so that I am ready.
There are still things I am working through, but I am thankful for those who have loved me unconditionally as I continue to embrace my journey. I thank God every single day for the special collection of friends that I am blessed with and love. Especially the one who despite what I said, knew what was in my heart. Thank you.
It seems so inadequate, but thank you.
October 6, 2010
Thoughts on Love
In July 1999 I was sitting next to Ben when he looked at me and told me he loved me for the first time. I stared into his eyes and replied, “There are a lot of kinds of love. What kind are you talking about?” Definitely not what he was hoping to hear.
C.S. Lewis, Dr. Gary Chapman, and others write about the different kinds of love and love languages. After reading such books I started to categorize and try to understand love. Sadly this over analyzing of emotion led me to minimalize love and miss giving and receiving it.
Today I look and see love all around. From the little girl who stopped to hug the crossing guard this morning to the man who I watched reach up and tuck a wisp of his lover’s stray hair back into place. From the secret glances across the restaurant from a couple who just started dating to the woman who shyly smiled and blushed after reading a text.
Small simple acts, yet so tender.
I admit I am a hopeless romantic and I may glorify the acts I spy, but it is much more exciting to view such moments through the lenses of love. It heightens the senses and makes such small gestures grand and more passionate and simply beautiful.
I am lucky to not only see love but to feel loved. From dancing in the moonlight to sticky kisses from my daughter. From a stranger embracing me to an unexpected message from a friend. Simple unplanned without expectation moments.
I think we get wrapped up in trying to find the narrowed down version of love we create that we miss the pure raw moments that surround us. Love is not something that fits neatly into a definition and that is what makes it so special.
Yes, there are still many kinds of love, but the greatest discovery lies in not understanding love, but seeing it, touching it, and sharing it ---daily.
C.S. Lewis, Dr. Gary Chapman, and others write about the different kinds of love and love languages. After reading such books I started to categorize and try to understand love. Sadly this over analyzing of emotion led me to minimalize love and miss giving and receiving it.
Today I look and see love all around. From the little girl who stopped to hug the crossing guard this morning to the man who I watched reach up and tuck a wisp of his lover’s stray hair back into place. From the secret glances across the restaurant from a couple who just started dating to the woman who shyly smiled and blushed after reading a text.
Small simple acts, yet so tender.
I admit I am a hopeless romantic and I may glorify the acts I spy, but it is much more exciting to view such moments through the lenses of love. It heightens the senses and makes such small gestures grand and more passionate and simply beautiful.
I am lucky to not only see love but to feel loved. From dancing in the moonlight to sticky kisses from my daughter. From a stranger embracing me to an unexpected message from a friend. Simple unplanned without expectation moments.
I think we get wrapped up in trying to find the narrowed down version of love we create that we miss the pure raw moments that surround us. Love is not something that fits neatly into a definition and that is what makes it so special.
Yes, there are still many kinds of love, but the greatest discovery lies in not understanding love, but seeing it, touching it, and sharing it ---daily.
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